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1. n, an inhabitant of Yonkers, NY
2. v, to live in Yonkers, NY. also YONK, YONKS, YONKED, YONKER, YONKING
3.adj YONKED descriptor of a person living or the act of living in Yonkers, NY, sometimes used in a pejorative sense.
EX: "We bought this old house and are re-habbing it--we are so yonked!"
4. n, YONKED a weblog that chronicles the life, trials, tribulations, and other of two lovebirds and their new child in an old house in Yonkers, NY.



Sunday, June 11, 2006

The Kitchen Death March of Frustration

Well, things are not working out quite according to plan. Or rather, they are working out exactly to plan. Just not OUR Plan.

First of all, when you are doing this type of renovation, everybody and your mother tells you "Oh, it's going to cost twice as much, and take twice as long as you expect." They tell you this so much that you start to go "Yeah, yeah, I know." It becomes rote or routine. However, when you are at the beginning of the end of the process, and you are writing checks that you are timing carefully to make sure that the sound of them bouncing will not be heard above the tumult of the air gun, it is quite a different sensation. I used to be cavalier. Now I just cavil. (I have provided a link for those that did not study assiduously for the SAT's.)

So here's the latest.

It turns out that we have so far bought three prep sinks. The first was too large, but the right color (brushed stainless) The second was the right size, but the wrong color (polished stainless). The third was the right size (although slightly different dimension, requiring a new measurement for the granite), the right color, but late. Stephanie had ordered the sink with the assurance from the company that it would arrive on Friday. Our plan was to take the sink over to the granite showroom on Friday so they could start cutting. When it become clear that FedEx was not coming on Friday (they couldn't find the tracking number for a good portion of the day, our plan was to bring it over on Saturday,so they could cut on Monday, install on Tuesday, and then we'd have the cork floor installed on Wednesday. (In the meantime, plumber comes in to connect all of the various plumbing appliances (gas stove, dishwasher, fridge water) and correct all of the stuff that he put in the wrong place the last time he was here (and Aaron kept saying, "I don't think that's in the right place.")

So, Saturday morning we get a call from the granite guys saying "Hey, we might have a problem, there are some gray splotches on your granite that will show. What do you want us to do." The first thing we said is, "How about placing those spots where the y won't be seen, like in the cutout for the sink, etc." But they, consummate professionals that they are, had already thought of that. We told them we'd be there before 4 pm (when they close in Bridgeport) And then we commenced the waiting.

You see, we were waiting for our prep sink to arrive from FedEx, so that we could bring it directly to them, and thus save the measuring worry that we had previously. However, Fedex didn't have a time for delivery, (except the oh so helpful "Sometime before midnight." ) And Bridgeport is 1.5 hours away. And if we don't get the sink if we are here, we have to wait for Tuesday, because this particular part of Fedex delivers Tuesday through Saturday. So we wait, and wait, and wait. At 2 pm we take off to go to Bridgeport without a sink. We leave a note for Fedex saying "Please leave package on front porch." And we left a note for our neighbors saying "Please don't steal our sink. Pretty Please?" And we took off.

I admit that it was my FABULOUS idea to take the Hutchinson parkway to the Merritt, which turned out to be a bad idea due to traffic. After a lot of self-incrimination, prostration, and a quick stop for the appropriate libations (diet coke for me, and Sweet Tea for Stephanie) we arrived at the Granite yard only to find out that the reason there was going to be a problem is that they had screwed up! We had them reserve two blocks of our granite for us. But on measuring, they decided they only needed one slab. So they sold the other slab out from under us. After listening to them implore us to take any other color in stock, they listened to reason, and agreed to order a new slab, which will arrive sometime next week.

On returning home (albeit with a $600 stop at Home Depot for garbage disposals, another toilet, and some sundries) we found that our sink had miraculously not been stolen!

So now, here's our current schedule for this week. (naturally, almost certain to be changed by the vagaries of chance)

Monday and Tuesday plumber does his thing.
Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, cork floor guy does his thing.
Early next week --Granite cut and installed, with us walking on egg shells that the granite guys don't get sloppy and drop something very heavy on our nice new cork floor. (and yes, mother, cardboard WILL be laid down over the cork.)

We had brunch this morning with two friends who asked the key question: Are you managing your renovation, or is your renovation managing you.

I leave that to you, dear readers, to discern.

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